THE Cornish Times received a letter from Jim Candy in Saltash - it said:

“My son has found a Brexit bonus! He now lives with his French wife in Normandy but has just realised he can send me back to Cornwall after 90 days if I decide to go and live with him permanently! 

“Our MP told our fisherman that Brexit would get rid of EU bureaucracy, and fish would be bountiful, but now she finds that pollack quotas have been introduced by her own government. 

“Unless they are sending fish to their biggest markets in France or Spain, fishermen don’t have to fill out EU forms, bonus. 

“Our MP is also concerned about the lack of dentistry cover, but didn’t she realise many of our dentists came from Eastern Europe? Perhaps dentists can benefit from the NHS £350,000,000 which I saw on her Brexit bus? I suppose if you cannot see a dentist, you won’t have to pay for treatment, another bonus. 

“Before I retired from farming I had to spend a few hours every year filling out claim forms for EU subsidies which made up a third of my income. In return I had to keep the land in good agricultural and environmental compliance and manage wildlife habitats. My farming friends now have to worry about cheap imports with lower welfare standards but at least they don’t have to fill out those pesky EU forms or worry what to do with the money, what a bonus! 

“As a member of the Liberal Democrats, the only party to campaign for remain, I am glad that my mother was one of those land girls who came from Ireland during the war and stayed, so I can apply for an Irish EU passport, my bonus!”