THERE are several life lessons I had drilled into me as a child by my Dad – but the one that sticks with me most is one that it seems, not all men were told.

In child speak it was ‘never hit a woman’. The adult translation is ‘never be violent towards women’.

The reasons he was so insistent on making sure his son was brought up never to do that will remain a secret within the family but believe me when I say there was a reason behind it.

To me, to do such a thing is unthinkable. It probably is to many of you reading this too. But, sadly, there are some among us who aren’t.

Two news stories in the same day relating to women in danger of violence or threat in Cornwall really reminded me of this particular life lesson and as a man, the easiest thing to do is to take comfort in the fact ‘I’m not like them’ and pretend it’s not an issue.

But life isn’t about comforting answers and walking on by and while I alone cannot create a world where violence towards women is unacceptable, I can do what I can to learn more about the issue, understand it better.

A conversation with some of my female colleagues about this made me realise that actually, while I have the best of intentions, I have been guilty of being a bit blind and a bit naïve to the scale of the issue.

I am a big believer that it isn’t enough to say we’re against something. It isn’t enough to say it’s just the action of a few and think no more than that.

So what can we men do?

The easy thing to do would be to virtue signal, but no virtues and no signals can change the world that is around us.

It doesn’t change the fact that the onus is on those of us who find violence against women and girls abhorrent to do our bit to create the world we wish to see.

I will admit I am still working out what I can do to stand alongside women and wish for a world where violence and abuse of this nature is regarded as abhorrent as it is.

So let’s begin with some statistics.

  • According to data from the Office of National Statistics, approximately 2.2-million females (representing 9.1 per cent of women aged 16 or over) in England and Wales experienced domestic abuse in the year that ended in March 2025.
  • Nearly one third of women have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16.
  • Violence against women and girls accounts for just under 20 per cent of all recorded crime in England and Wales.
  • In the year ending March 2025, police recorded 816,493 domestic abuse related crimes in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025.

Next on my reading will be a guide on how to engage men in ending Violence against Women and Girls (VAWG) from End Violence Against Women.

Make it yours too.