A father who was diagnosed with a malignant form of skin cancer five years ago, and turned to writing blogs to help him process the information he was being given by doctors, is now due to publish his writings as a book.

In 2016 Roland Monger, now 42, was diagnosed with a metastatic malignant melanoma (which he describes as “mobile nasty skin cancer”). Without knowing how to process this information or how to cope with a severely life-limiting prognosis, he started writing his thoughts, observations and feelings into his blog and, five years later, he’s still here, the blog is still going and now most of it is to be published in a book to be launched this month.

The book is entitled My Big Toe Is Killing Me because his big toe is where his melanoma primary originally occurred after he stubbed it – although now it is his internal organs which are affected.

Roland says: “I started writing the blog as a way to process my thoughts and share my experience with friends and family without having to repeat the same conversation over and over again – it’s bad enough having cancer but talking about it all the time just adds insult to injury. Over the months and years, what emerged was that the blog was not only cathartic for me but also really helpful for lots of other people too. I hope the book reaches out to more people and enables some conversations that people might have found difficult before”.

Roland told me his condition first emerged after he had a gallbladder removed in 2015 and he had to have a lot of rest. He became conscious that he had a lump in his groin which doctors said was probably a poly limpona and to let them know if it got larger. It did get larger, so in early 2016 they carried out a biopsy and two types of scans – after which it became apparent there was a tumour growing inside him.

Later in 2016 he was operated on to remove the tumour and also lymph nodes as they were all wrapped up together. Then he had four weeks of daily radiotherapy. After that there were more scans which indicated that the surgery and radiotherapy were initially proving successful and by late 2016 things were looking really good and safe, and Roland had a few years of regular scans and check-ups.

However, in late 2019 there was a recurrence of cancer – he had melanoma on his pancreas, which stops the pancreas from working and the body starts digesting itself. Roland was put on insulin and given immunotherapy to try and stop the cancer progressing further on the pancreas.

Then it emerged that one of Roland’s friends knew a specialist surgeon who knew another specialist who was willing to look at his case and was willing to operate to rescue part of Roland’s pancreas. However, it transpired that the cancer had spread to his stomach, so he ended up having 90 per cent of his pancreas and 90 per cent of his stomach removed. Although he now had a stomach equivalent in size to toddler he was able to eat and since that time his stomach has grown a little – but nevertheless he lost six stone in weight through the loss of organs and the need to eat much less.

It was through all this that Roland began writing his blogs. He explained to me that he has always enjoyed writing as a way to organise his thoughts – and now it also became a way of letting people know what was going on with his illness and treatment without having to talk about it all the time, and it was also useful to help his family find out the information they needed.

He says that he knows a number of nursing students and counsellors have also been using his blogs to understand cancer from a patients’ point of view – it has proved particularly useful when dealing with men suffering from symptoms, as they often find it hard to talk about how they are feeling.

Meanwhile another stage was reached in Roland’s illness when in 2020 he received a call from Derriford Hospital that the immunotherapy was no longer working and the only option now was palliative care.

Roland started to wonder if he should research whether he could travel to the USA and pay for treatment, but after issuing a call for help through his blog he heard from someone in London who was very keen to offer assistance with treatment.

Roland found life very hard at the start of the pandemic when his condition meant he couldn’t meet family and friends. He also started preparing for ‘the inevitable’ by sorting out and boxing up belongings. However, we are now almost at the end of 2021 and he is still with us and now looking forward to the launch of his book on October 15.

The book came about after a number of people who had read his blogs said that it should be published in book form to reach a wider audience. A friend has put together a sample and link online to help people to order a copy and after the launch they will see how it does – and 20 per cent of the proceeds will be going to St Luke’s Hospice in Plymouth who have been so supportive to Roland during his illness and treatment so he would like as big a donation as possible to go to them.

This book takes you through the understandable lows, the unexpected highs and some of the boring middle bits of having cancer from the point of a view of a middle-aged dad. There is laughter, sadness, relief and despair but ultimately hope and stoicism by the bucket load. There are also plenty of pop culture references to help explain the mysterious world of cancer.

Supporting Roland through it all has been his wife Gemma Turner. They got married a couple of years ago and they have son, Jake, who is about to celebrate his seventh birthday and with whom they have been as open as possible about Roland’s illness and treatment. Roland is also stepdad to Gemma’s three teenage children from a previous relationship who have all been supportive through the years of normal life being periodically interrupted by Roland needing hospital visits and treatment.

Helping to distract them all from their worries and troubles is Bodhi, ‘the classic lockdown puppy’ – a 10-month-old golden Labrador whose presence is good for all of the family.

For now, despite all that he has been through, Roland is remaining determined to enjoy life as best as he is able, with his blogs helping him to remain strong.

His book My Big Toe Is Killing Me will be published tomorrow (Friday, October 15), from which date people can order a copy of the book via the weblink www.rolandmonger.uk